All of a sudden, everywhere became very noisy. Noise that made me feel there was a riot going on outside. So I opened my office window and I saw a large crowd of people gathered in front of my office. What’s going on I asked? A bike rider (Okada man) had mistakenly burnt the leg of his passenger with the exhaust and she won’t let him go. So I intervened and appealed to the lady to let the man go since it was a clear mistake. But she insisted he will not go, for according to her, “na man keep me like dis, another man come use Okada burn me, I no go gree”. After almost an hour of consistent appeals and apologies from the poor Okada rider she released him. I had to pay for her treatment in a nearby clinic (the Okada man couldn’t afford the cost) as that was part of the agreement she demanded for.
Now think of it. A woman who had been hurt by another man, going about with vengeance and in pain. I know it’s not east to forgive and forget. But it’s for our own good. This is because if we don’t forgive, the poison and the hurt stays with us. The people who offended us may have moved on living their lives not even caring about us and the damage they did to us. It’s therefore pertinent for us to let go the past hurts so as to avoid we are not damage to our person.
I know it’s not easy to forgive. Especially someone who is not even saying they are sorry. But for our own good, we have to let go. Never allow someone’s foolishness or mistake change who you are. If because someone hurt you, (like the case I mentioned above) and you go about thinking every man is bad, then you have allowed one person’s misconduct to cause you to become a “damaged person“. I mean you have now become one who hates or is suspicious of all men just because of one person’s bad behavior. You maybe unable to open up or love any other man. Technically, that means long after such a fellow had gone, they are still hurting you because you have changed and now become suspicious and now probably unable to trust in any man-woman relationship. Some have gone on to become tribal bigots because of events such as this.
I bought a wrist watch from a certain fellow some years back on the streets and I told him that peradventure the wrist watch malfunctions, how do I return it back to him since he said he can guarantee the watch and that I could bring it back anytime. He said I should just come to the spot I bought the watch from him and ask for “fear woman” that everybody knows him. I kept wondering why his parents gave him such a name. That must have been based on some negative life experiences with women. Maybe a certain woman must have hurt the father of that boy or something.
We all have to let people go no matter what for our own sakes. We must not allow the poison of their misconduct to make us become stereotypes/one who is unforgiving in nature. You should not live your life making other people pay for the wrongs of someone else. You shouldn’t permit someone who contributed badly to your past to continue to contribute badly also to your future by using their past conducts to punish or judge the people you become acquainted with.
If you do not let go, the poison of the unforgiveness stays with you. Even the punishment for their past misdemeanor is on you and that is a “one-sided punishment” . The possibility is there that these people may not even know, or care if they hurt us. They go on living their lives oblivious or unconcerned with our pain’s.
“I must not be transformed negatively by another man.
Their misconduct must not destroy the originality of my person.
Hatred and unforgiveness is a deadly virus that must not corrupt my virtues.
I must live my life to the full without evil remembrances taking me over.
Life is too short, for one to go about carrying a bag full of bitterness and regrets”.
I close with words of the Bible concerning how many times we should forgive people that hurt us.
Matt 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
What are your thoughts on the issue of forgiveness? Or, have you struggled with having to forgive someone before? How did you handle it. Let me know your view in the comments section below.
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