All of a sudden, everywhere became very noisy. Noise that made me feel there was a riot going on outside. So I opened my office window and I saw a large crowd of people gathered in front of my office. What’s going on I asked? A bike rider (Okada man) had mistakenly burnt the leg of his passenger with the exhaust and she won’t let him go. So I intervened and appealed to the lady to let the man go since it was a clear mistake. But she insisted he will not go, for according to her,na man keep me like dis, another man come use Okada burn me, I no go gree”. After almost an hour of consistent appeals and apologies from the poor Okada rider she released him. I had to pay for her treatment in a nearby clinic (the Okada man couldn’t afford the cost) as that was part of the agreement she demanded for.


Now think of it. A woman who had been hurt by another man, going about with vengeance and in pain. I know it’s not east to forgive and forget. But it’s for our own good. This is because if we don’t forgive, the poison and the hurt stays with us. The people who offended us may have moved on living their lives not even caring about us and the damage they did to us. It’s therefore pertinent for us to let go the past hurts so as to avoid we are not damage to our person.

We have all been hurt before.

I know it’s not easy to forgive. Especially someone who is not even saying they are sorry. But for our own good, we have to let go. Never allow someone’s foolishness or mistake change who you are. If because someone hurt you, (like the case I mentioned above) and you go about thinking every man is bad, then you have allowed one person’s misconduct to cause you to become a “damaged person“. I mean you have now become one who hates or is suspicious of all men just because of one person’s bad behavior. You maybe unable to open up or love any other man. Technically, that means long after such a fellow had gone, they are still hurting you because you have changed and now become suspicious and now probably unable to trust in any man-woman relationship. Some have gone on to become tribal bigots because of events such as this.

Let go

I bought a wrist watch from a certain fellow some years back on the streets and I told him that peradventure the wrist watch malfunctions, how do I return it back to him since he said he can guarantee the watch and that I could bring it back anytime. He said I should just come to the spot I bought the watch from him and ask for “fear woman” that everybody knows him. I kept wondering why his parents gave him such a name. That must have been based on some negative life experiences with women. Maybe a certain woman must have hurt the father of that boy or something.

You have to let it go no matter the pain

We all have to let people go no matter what for our own sakes. We must not allow the poison of their misconduct to make us become stereotypes/one who is unforgiving in nature. You should not live your life making other people pay for the wrongs of someone else. You shouldn’t permit someone who contributed badly to your past to continue to contribute badly also to your future by using their past conducts to punish or judge the people you become acquainted with.

Be merciful. Don’t allow unforgiveness to change you.

If you do not let go, the poison of the unforgiveness stays with you. Even the punishment for their past misdemeanor is on you and that is a “one-sided punishment” . The possibility is there that these people may not even know, or care if they hurt us. They go on living their lives oblivious or unconcerned with our pain’s.

“I must not be transformed negatively by another man.

Their misconduct must not destroy the originality of my person.

Hatred and unforgiveness is a deadly virus that must not corrupt my virtues.

I must live my life to the full without evil remembrances taking me over.

Life is too short, for one to go about carrying a bag full of bitterness and regrets”.

I close with words of the Bible concerning how many times we should forgive people that hurt us.

Matt 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.


What are your thoughts on the issue of forgiveness? Or, have you struggled with having to forgive someone before? How did you handle it. Let me know your view in the comments section below.

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Melodious · September 28, 2019 at 5:41 am

Lovely piece. It’s best to forgive and sometimes difficult to forget because it may remain a reference point.
May God help because sometimes it takes more than just human to forget some hurt.
Thanks my Archbishop.
More anointing sir.

    Ovyay · September 28, 2019 at 5:57 am

    Beloved Tsunamee, thanks for your comments and for the support πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

KG · September 28, 2019 at 6:36 am

To forgive people who have hurt you badly is not easy. The best way I know to handle it is to ask God for help and healing. When we also remember that God forgives us, it makes it easier. We forgive for our own sake, so we don’t become bitter, angry and frustrated people. Forgiveness is divine. People make it difficult, God makes it easy. You know you have forgiven and have been healed, when you can talk about the issue and you no longer feel pain. When you see the one who offended you and you no longer feel hatred for them and you are still able to relate well with them.

    Ovyay · September 28, 2019 at 8:23 am

    You have spoken well. It takes God to be able to truly forgive.

Bunmi · September 28, 2019 at 6:48 am

Sometime it very difficult to forgive, one of the questions that comes to one’s mind is “what did I do to be treated in this manner”.
Someone you stood by him or her in times of battle(s), you shouldered their problems.
At the end you are treated as if you don’t exist.
Well I have learnt not to expect too much from people.
Whatever am doing I always tell myself that am doing it for God and not any man.
So whenever someone misbehave, I can quickly move on without feeling too hurt.
Forgiveness is one of the keys of rest of mind, and I need peace of mind at all times, so I can remain in rightness with God.

    Ovyay · September 28, 2019 at 8:39 am

    Hmm Iya too, this your comment is just “real life”. I can relate with it very well. I thank God that we can exchange our hurts for His peace.

Princess Ada · September 28, 2019 at 10:44 am

Forgiveness is one of the best medicine in life. Its quite difficult sometimes but thank God for the Holy Spirit.
I have also learnt not to be too fast in picking offences. If i refuse to get offended no matter what, there might not be need for forgiveness, i just quietly withdraw myself. Its also good to always ask for clarity because sometimes intentions behind actions might be genuine.

    Ovyay · September 28, 2019 at 10:51 am

    It takes grace and mercy not to be offended but that is the true way. I agree with you also that at times we need clarification so that we do not fall into a non existent offence situation. You have spoken well Princess.

Femare · September 28, 2019 at 12:10 pm

Timely message, God give us grace to release all who hurt us.

    Ovyay · September 28, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Amen o.

Owoborode Akinpelu · September 29, 2019 at 10:36 am

Yes, it’s true that we should forgive but above all; we should learn how to forget. If we say that we forgives but not forget the memories of the past will still come back. It takes the Grace of God to forget.
Above all; we should learn to forgive and forget .
May God almighty help us Amen.

    Ovyay · September 29, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    I agree with you. Honestly it takes God to forgive and forget. Especially that forget side. Thanks Ọrẹ.

Promise Uche · September 29, 2019 at 5:42 pm

Daddy, truely some hurts are very difficult to forgive. Tt takes God to wipe out some pains of people’s hurt., especially people you give ur heart to. But for us to get blessings from God ,we must let go.

    Ovyay · September 29, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    It’s not easy, but God is our only hope. Good comment Sis Promise

Benedicta Saroh · October 3, 2019 at 2:01 am

Forgiveness is not for the ones who hurt you
It is for you

    Ovyay · October 3, 2019 at 6:14 am

    This is deep. Benee

Ugochi · October 3, 2019 at 5:13 am

Forgiveness is divine. When we truly forgive, the peace of God flood our heart like a river. It’s easy to say we forgive someone but by experience I have learnt is not always easy to forget especially when such person is not remorseful. Asking for God’s help in prayer always help to forget and remove the poison of bitterness from our lives. JESUS IS LORD!

    Ovyay · October 3, 2019 at 6:14 am

    Truth Egobabe1πŸ‘πŸ‘

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