Today
Whilst no one was looking
I picked my nose
Dug in real deep
And shot fireballs into the sky.
Today whilst no one was looking
I scratched my butt
It felt really good
What more could a man want on a hot summer day.
Today whilst no one was looking
I raised up one of my my laps slightly and farted into the homeless winds
The stench that oozed out of my rectum was really noxious
Why should a man such as I, harbor such poison inside me.
************’***********
Today whilst no one was looking
I finished my food
Then licked my plate dry with my tongue
There was no need to wash the plate there after but don’t tell my wife anything.
Today whilst no one was looking
I went to war with a bone using a broom stick
I burrowed deep and sucked that sucker dry
I later sat back congratulating myself saying “Ol’boy, you are doing well”.
Today when no one was looking
I told the girl standing next to me that you were weeing into the pool
She asked me how I knew
Your face ma’am, I know how relieving it can be as I was doing the same thing too.
Today, whilst no one was looking
I sneaked into my wife’s room, put on her wig and make up
Then I went to the mirror and made duck faces at myself
“A little foolishness” my head said, “makes you know you are alive but jobless”.
Today whilst no one was looking
I danced azonto and zanku
No one was there to witness my awesome moves
That really made me feel alive for the first time in a long time 😝😝😝.
SELAH
To read another Poem, click here Culinary Delights
I hope you enjoyed this poem. So, what did you do when no one was watching? I wonder? Don’t be ashamed. Hit me with it in the comments section. Let’s all have a little laugh. Happy weekend.
Pls, subscribe to this blog if you haven’t and share the fun with others if you think they would love this post.
Till next time.
24 Comments
Lina · July 18, 2020 at 6:10 am
Lol 😂 guilty of a few 😂 😂
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 6:16 am
🤝thanks jare for being truthful 😂😂
Ifeanyi Uwaegbu · July 18, 2020 at 6:39 am
Some of those things can not be told, all thanks goes to our God who only knows all hidden things.
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 6:46 am
Haha, I understand or along back😂😂
KG · July 18, 2020 at 6:39 am
😂😂😂. I choose to remain decent🤣🤣🤣
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 6:47 am
Hmm, God is with you o 😂
Ovis · July 18, 2020 at 7:42 am
😂😂😂 No Comment Oooo
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 7:50 am
Some things are sacred🤣🤣🤣
Babajide Olusanya · July 18, 2020 at 10:49 am
The things we do when no one is watching
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 11:18 am
Yes o. We can’t say it all 😂😂
Nwosu Promise · July 18, 2020 at 11:25 am
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💯💯
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 11:34 am
😝😝😝👍👍
Femare · July 18, 2020 at 11:31 am
Hilarious, happens to the best of us, in the real world . Thanks for sharing sir.
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 11:32 am
You are welcome 🙏🙏
Bunmi · July 18, 2020 at 12:06 pm
🤣🤣🤣
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 12:08 pm
👍👍👍
Regina Ofonime johnson · July 19, 2020 at 5:12 pm
So interesting, I can’t stop laughing since yesterday, is really the mirror of our lives, thanks daddy great work and more grace.
Ovyay · July 19, 2020 at 7:48 pm
Amen. Thanks for commenting Sis Reg.
Dabira · July 18, 2020 at 6:54 pm
😂😂😂
Licking plate dry when no one is looking: 🕵️..🙋😹
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 7:15 pm
Correct 👍👍
idemudia Godspower · July 18, 2020 at 7:55 pm
The “Homeless wind” part cracked me up big time. I couldn’t help laughing. Thank you sir for making my day
Ovyay · July 18, 2020 at 8:14 pm
My pleasure. God bless you jare Bishop.
'tamborinist' · July 25, 2020 at 8:20 pm
singing with my sweet voice……..when no one was looking or even hearing .
Ovyay · July 25, 2020 at 8:22 pm
Princiiii 😳😳