The names we bare

Some Nigerians have interesting names. Some were named based on the circumstances surrounding their birth. Some names are like a sentence, subjecting the bearer to a life of interrogations or outright mockery. Such names run out of runway space when forms are being filled.
Fasten your seat belts, this is going to be a long flight with several stopovers.

One was called Felix Strongfacenodeybrakebone
He didn’t win the champions league with Barca
But he did win multiple cups of free palm wine and gworo at the local draft Bundesliga
A tournament played by men afraid to go home under the Baobab tree at Bundu waterside.

+++++++++++++++++++++

What of Larinka Agogotinkawakatiojo
He was an ugly short man with a long name
He tried but couldn’t win the heart of any girl in our community
Before he died, his last words were, “Na thunder go kill poverty”.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Here lies Akpan Suffernomore Goddey.
He got so drunk on the Tombo served freely at Mama Fynefacenopimple’s birthday
After, he had a big quarrel with his sandals because the buckles broke at Elipopodu junction
He walked away barefooted after telling the stupid sandals to find its way to the house on its own.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Meet Unfortunate Oyinbo Sailor
For so his Grandfather named him
He was shipped into Nigeria by his German Sailor Father and a fish hawker Nigerian mother
Now he leaves in the waterside with pale skin pigmentation and face that says he ought to be somewhere else but there.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Meet Corper2009
A child so named it tells his story
His father served as a Corper in a Riverine state
And ran away after impregnating the gin sellers daughter.

What of Monday Tuesday Otaighobue
For so his grandmother called him
His offence was the timing of his birth
He was born on Monday and the village bush market got burnt on Tuesday.

+++++++++++++++++++++

I met a man called Fearwoman at airport Junction one day
I thought he was joking
He said No Sir, na my name be dat
D name weak me for bodi
E don tay wey this world no balance again.
SELAH.

To read another prosy story, click on the link Pains of the other Woman

So if you are a CHILD hoping to be born and you wish to be born here, make sure you check the day you will enter here o. If you came and there is a power outage, you may be named Nepatakelight Generatorropecut.

What interesting Nigerian /African names do you know? Hit me with your comments in the comments section below.

Caveat-This names are a product of the Authors imagination and have no resemblance to anyone living or dead.

Is na me be dis.

Ya one and only bonafide and erudite homeboy Traveling Poet wey neva travel since March 2020 because e bin dey fear Covid-19, saying: Una doo.