How I learnt to love myself.
About five years ago, after closing the sale concerning one of my books, I asked the lady “how would you find me next time if I don’t show up here”. She said ….”that’s easy, there are not so many people in this area that have white eyebrows like yours”. I said ok but left the place with mixed feelings. I was happy about the deal concerning my books but felt sad that she referred to my eyebrows as a means of identification.

She had touched a sensitive spot without knowing. I knew she didn’t mean it as an insult to my person but ..”how I wish she didn’t refer to my eyebrows”.You see, what she didn’t know was I didn’t like the way my eyebrows look like. I don’t mind it being bushy, it’s the turning white that I was bothered about. That was how the whole day or better still, part of the day went downhill for me. Why do I have white hairs on my eyebrows? My Senior sister who is much older than myself does not have a single white hair on her head. (at the time of this event). I have it thick on my brows, my beards are turning grey-white and the struggle I had most is, dealing with balding that became worse the older I got.All these started as soon as I approached my 40s. The truth was, I didn’t like it. I mean, the thick white brows and the balding matter. My father-in-law is over 70 his hair is jet black, my wife’s hair is all black. Every time I look around I see people with black and full hair.
After worrying secretly about it for some years, I had to take a decision. I decided against putting the dye on my hair to make it black instead I would repackage my appearance. I would barb my hair completely- skin style every other week that way if it remained scraped off nobody will see the balding aspect.

This suited me for awhile but there was a problem. I hated having to go to the barber and I hated the extra attention it demanded to keep it scraped every other week. It was difficult enough shaving my beards every two days. Adding the extra burden of paying attention to my hair was not what I wanted to do. Besides, why should the barbers charge us (the balding folks) the same price with the men with full hair? That’s a matter for another Blog day. Is that that not a human rights affair? After all, the hair had already been half cut before the Barber is invited to cut the rest…..Okay, I am just joking. but I have given it a thought more than once. Anyway, so I went and bought me 4 sets of fedora hats. I was happy. I had discovered the elixir of life. “Put the fedora on, balding gone”. (Some Ad. agencies can use that and pay me later). Good idea for a while but the problem was, what of the places like the Church where I had to remove the hat throughout the duration of the service. (A man may deceive himself but reality will always reveal the truth). I am a Preacher, so all eyes are on me and my “……….” throughout the preaching period. Maybe I should try hair transplant. I can’t afford it. I am in Nigeria, where do they even do such things. Besides, with the kind of person I am, I will continually feel in myself that the hair is not real. Now hair transplant is okay and I have seen it work for some people. It won’t just work for me. Not that it’s wrong or bad. So one day, I had to deal with myself. I called for a board meeting of me, myself and I. I mean everyone must attend this meeting. Something big was about to go down. I was tired of repackaging. I mean, hide the balding aspect with the Fedora, and using sunglasses to hide my brows.
An Executive order was signed that day. No more application of palliatives, no more psychological encouragement and repackaging. I don’t want to experiment with science and drugs. No more avoiding mirrors in the restroom. I had suffered silently enough through the years. Not that my wife or friends or anyone were making jest of me. Not that they ever even complained. I had to stop concentrating on what I felt was wrong with my appearance and move on to positive things concerning myself.

Had to get real with myself.

So I started with the mirror. Yes, I avoided mirrors tactically. I stood before the mirror and had a long look and talk with myself. Something like,“this is who you are boy. This is what people see every day. Hate it, like it this is you. This is the you that is going out now and coming back later, so accept it”. I said other frank words to myself and that was it. I took the Fedora and the sunglasses off, kept them aside and went out that day walking tall and staring everybody direct on the face. That was it. Just came to terms with myself and boom. I am ok. Does the pressure still come? Yes, but I have learned to deal with it. I am happy with my looks, with myself and suddenly realized that my wife of over 24years loves me the way I am. Do I still wear the Fedora? Yes, but now it’s more for fashion than repackaging of my appearance. Do I still wear sunglasses to hide my brows? Yes, but it’s just a fashion statement now.

Conclusion

Are you out there and you feel you are too fat, too thin, not shapely enough, your nose is too big, too small etc, you can do whatever is needful but the truth is, you also have to accept that this is who you are. If plastic surgery can help you, no problem, that’s your personal decision to make but first accept that this is who you are before you attempt any corrections. Accept who you are while working on who you want to be. Refuse to be depressed or cast down. There is always someone out there who loves you the way you are. One must find peace within him or herself first. You must be comfortable with yourself if not, nothing out there will be strong enough to comfort you. Maybe you are in your middle ages and feel you are not as pretty as you used to be. Honestly, that is not true. You are still you. Your beauty is still inside there. True beauty is on the inside. Maybe as a lady, you feel being slim is what you want, go to the gym, do whatever you feel is right for you. But the truth is, be comfortable with yourself because “you, is all you have got”. Whether plus size, supermodel slim, be happy with who you are. If you are in your menopausal years and your body is experiencing a lot of changes, try and be comfortable with yourself first before you attempt any form of solutions acceptable to you. My personal advice is, don’t try to look or be someone else. You are you and they are whoever they are. Everyone is not the same. Fair, dark, plus size, slim there is always someone out there for everyone. Carry yourself with dignity. You are important. See yourself like that. You are fearfully and wonderfully made the Bible says.

Don’t avoid the mirror.

Maybe you have a disability. You are still who you are. Don’t hide behind the closet or run from mirrors the way I did. Don’t hate taking selfies like I did before. Step out there and go and be someone great. Feeling sorry for yourself or being unhappy with yourself won’t change anything. This is you. You are special. You have to learn to love yourself.There is no one like you and there won’t be any like you after now. You are unique. Love your being different and live your life. Okay after giving birth to say, three kids, your tummy is not the same anymore. Do whatever is needful, use a girdle, exercise frequently etc but don’t hate yourself. This world and the people in it can be unkind at times. The best you can do is to be kind to yourself.I don’t know if this has helped you. How do you feel about yourself. Have you fought internal battles like I did? Share your feelings and experiences with me in the comments section below. Also, subscribe to this blog if you haven’t.
Till next time, learn to love yourself. And remember, it’s good being you.Thanks.


28 Comments

Benedicta Saroh · July 7, 2018 at 5:46 am

This had me reeling with laughter
Thank you Daddy

    Ovyay · July 7, 2018 at 5:48 am

    Haha no wahala, Benee. Just had to get real with myself 🎩🎩🎩

Keji · July 7, 2018 at 5:57 am

Very encouraging.

    Ovyay · July 7, 2018 at 5:59 am

    Thanks so much.

Adekunle Folorunso · July 7, 2018 at 7:04 am

Highly amusing! The best personal policy is to get real & love oneself. If you don’t, no one will do.
Another great write up!

    Ovyay · July 7, 2018 at 7:11 am

    Thanks PST Mode. Self hate is a destroyer. No man should hate himself. God is in control.

Melodious Melody · July 7, 2018 at 7:12 am

Very apt! Very encouraging!
Loving who you are, is the key to your happiness.
It all begins with that face in the mirror.
Thanks for sharing your experience to encourage others. 👍🏼

    Ovyay · July 7, 2018 at 7:16 am

    Thanks ma Tsunameee. I had to deal a terminating blow to that pressure. One has to be comfortable with himself.

Jemimah · July 7, 2018 at 7:19 am

I usually feel bad about my size but when l saw people fatter than l , l just have to accept me, myself and l because that is the way God has created me. I am blessed . Mi o le wa ku. Lolzzzz

    Ovyay · July 7, 2018 at 7:23 am

    Abi o. Aye fẹlẹ. Keyan ma wa para e. Kontinu to jayé lọ ojare .

shahenda · July 7, 2018 at 11:31 am

This is so deep and true. Thanks for your words, it really helped.

    Ovyay · July 7, 2018 at 11:37 am

    Thanks Shahenda. I appreciate your comments.

maureen uche · July 7, 2018 at 8:21 pm

Accepting who you are and loving your self real good. One big lesson I’ve learnt today. I complain a lot about myself, like my cloths are no longer perfect on me, am too slim, or am too fair people are calling me water girl some call me snake and that my eyes are too big because of my colour. Before now it use to be a very big problem for me. People say this or that about me and am worried about them. Thank God for this message. Thank you sir.

    Ovyay · July 7, 2018 at 9:49 pm

    Ah Maureen, I like your candidness. You are ok joo. Don’t mind them. God is Faithful

Raymond DaSilva · July 9, 2018 at 8:41 pm

After reading this, I’m going to have a heart to heart talk with my barber! Lol! Awesome post Sir, I can’t count how many times I’ve done situps, crunches etc.. For the mere fact that I’m tired of this scenario – My friends that I haven’t seen me in a while finally see me and the 1st thing they proceed to do is to touch my tummy and say ..”o boy you don fat o”. I just always flash a fake smile and look for an epic comeback (still haven’t found one yet! Lol). I miss my Sixpack days o! Lol…. But seriously, With what you said I’m gonna learn to love the way I look, and if I decide to keep trying to lose the tummy fat, it will be because I want to and not cause of what people think! Looking forward to your next post! God bless!

    Ovyay · July 9, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    Whoa, you are straight forward and on point. I like your comment jare. You made me laugh with your barber comment too. I can just imagine the scenario😂😂😂😂

Carol Efoghe · July 10, 2018 at 4:32 pm

Oh Ovyay I Love This, Your Such An Inspiration To Many People, Your A Wonderful Man, Remain Blessed Love Carol Liverpool UK 🇬🇧 😘😘😘

    Ovyay · July 11, 2018 at 4:41 am

    Thanks ma. I appreciate your kind words.

Jutta Samuels · July 11, 2018 at 5:53 am

Thank you for your honesty. I guess we all struggle with this at some stage and to some degree! Getting older has many moments! Accepting ourselves the way God made us is not always easy! The media do not make it easier for us. However, it is the inner beautie shining out that truly speaks to others around us, and that makes the difference not our outward appearance. I can think of many instances where personality totally overshadowed looks. Even when we are completely shrouded; our personality still radiates out to those around us!

    Ovyay · July 11, 2018 at 6:32 am

    I thank you so much for your comments. I like that phrase “personality totally overshadowed looks” . God bless always. Amen.

Sis Promise · July 13, 2018 at 7:39 pm

That’s true sir. Thank you for the word of encouragement. It is nice to be yourself.

    Ovyay · July 13, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    Thanks for your comments Sis Promise.

Idea4 · July 20, 2018 at 2:33 am

Another great write up, it is good to discover whom you are, for you to appreciate yourself.

    Ovyay · July 20, 2018 at 8:30 am

    True talk. Thanks for commenting. I truly appreciate it.

Dimma · August 7, 2018 at 7:03 am

I have to Accept and Love myself. Still battling with accepting myself. Yeah I am fat and I have been called names because of that till the point I was told I am irritating (wow! Such a big word). What have I not heard about my size? But it’s all good. NO ONE WILL LOVE ME LIKE ME.

Thank you for this post.

    Ovyay · August 7, 2018 at 7:09 am

    Those are strong words but I know you are stronger than those words. God is on your side and He alone knows the real you. Continue to love yourself and don’t put yourself down as we are all special and beautiful in our own way. Don’t let any contrary opinion put you down. Hold that head high, adjust your tiara, and enjoy being you.

Princess Ada · August 13, 2018 at 4:29 pm

Thank you daddy for putting smile on my face again. I ACCEPT MYSELF JUST THE WAY I AM. I AM THE BEST OF MY KIND AND I AM AMAZING, JUST THE WAY I AM.

    Ovyay · August 13, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    And that is so true. God bless you joo.

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